Max’s Dog-Blog

I got a brilliant surprise this afternoon. When Hilary came home from work she had Laura (one of my extra humans) with her!!!

I gave Laura an amazingly bouncy welcome as it is ages since I have seen her! She is here for a few days and then goes off to South Africa , on a trip with young people from the Diocese of Aberdeen and Orkney. While she is away she will celebrate her 21st birthday!

I took Laura to my park and we played ball which was good fun though it was very very hot. In one of my cooling trips to the stream I managed to lose the ball, which Hilary was rather upset at as it was a brand new ball. I told her not to worry as she can just buy me some more!

We had fun in ther garden tonight as it was so warm and sunny. The humans dranks Pimms and I howled at a siren and played with my ball! (not the one I lost stupid, a fresh one) Tim took a photo of me on his mobile phone!

There was a really horrible story in the news today, about four dogs who have died having been shut in cars in the Highlands. The dogs (in three separate cars, two in Inverness and one in Tain) were shut in cars in the sun, and the poor things all eventually boiled to death. It sounds absolutely horrible and I thought I would just remind all you humans not to leave us dogs in cars at all in this hot weather (even with the window open and some water) as the heat soon builds up and we can’t cope.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/highlands_and_islands/8126382.stm

Special thoughts go to all dogs who have suffered in this way.

I am delighted to announce that I am home again!

Despite being booked into prison till tomorrow morning, the humans were back from their holiday in Malta and Gozo at lunch time today (after a very early start getting up at 2.15 am BST so they are looking pretty tired now), and got their priorities right and collected me a day early! (and Monty cat too, I should say) Hilary came to get us about 3pm and paid the extortionate bail fee and we were free!

They have had a wonderful holiday and enjoyed some rest and relaxation, exploring the stunning Maltese islands, the hot sunny weather (used lots of suncream, sat in the shade and had no sunburn at all!) and lots of delicious meals out! Hilary has of course unpacked and done several loads of washing, and been busy sorting things out, Tim opened his case to remove the bottles of local CISK lager he had taken home with him, and the rest of his suitcase is still on their bed waiting to be sorted!

I have had a good brush down, eaten my food, the cat’s food, run around everywhere, lay on the human bed (bliss after the prison floor) and have also been on a short walk to my park with Tim. I gather proper forest walks resume tomorrow!

Incidently, while I was incarcerated last week it was my blogging anniversary! On 20th June I have been blogging regularly for three years! Not bad for a dog!

It is prison time now - Monty and I are off to prison YET AGAIN so that the humans can jet set into the sun on Malta and Gozo for a fortnight…and yes, Clare, in answer to your comment I am sure they have breached the rules on frequency of prison stays in recent weeks! (I will have spent more nights in prison than at home this month alone) They must surely be feeling very guilty about it!

Anyway prison can be fun in it’s own way I suppose and the warders are very friendly, so I will try to make the most of it and see it as a “holiday”. A change is as good as a rest or so they say. Mind you, some dogs get to go to much more exciting places - my humans tell me there was a real dog in church this morning!

The dog’s human was the grandmother to twins who were being baptised this morning, and the dog was invited to to join in the celebrations, sitting quietly on it’s human’s knee at the back of the church during the service. I think that sets a precedent and when I come back from prison I will demand to go to church and keep Tim company at the front of the church (as befits a superior dog like me) - I could even preach for him, perhaps?

Anyway have a good couple of weeks my blog friends - I will be back when I can!

Well folks, it is nearly prison time again for me and Monty cat. Tonight the cat flap inner lock on the back door went down- and Monty is now a prisoner inside ! This is all to ensure he is locatable when it is time to send us to prison tomorrow!

My male human has been busy working most of the day- he still has three church services- including two baptisms (twins!) to go. But my female human is in the pre- holiday mood and spent today cleaning, washing and packing. I am amazed how much stuff she thinks she needs to take with her- she had to reject several items due to lack of space, but her suitcase is now packed and she is confident it will shut tomorrow! and, when she weighed it, it was just under the airline weight limit!

When Hilary came home from work tonight she and Tim went out in to the garden with me, and realised I was playing with the plastic lid of a food container.

Then they spotted, behind the garden chair and beside my outside water bowl, the rest of the food container- with some chilli in!

The humans were bemused but worked out that this was the remains of the chilli they had had for tea last night , which had been left to cool on the work surface, loosely covered with the lid. Tim had even pushed it to the back of the shelf, but, being a superior dog, I had smelt it , got it down all by myself and carried it out into the garden, as they had kindly left the back door open during the evening for me.

I enjoyed the new food taste though it was bit hot and spicy, and it had some horrible red pepper things in which I spat out on the grass!

It was Hilary’s turn to get to come on my walk tonight, but I was in a deep sleep enjoying a dream about tormenting a rather silly rabbit, when she returned from work. So she got ready and I didn’t show any enthusiasm which seemed to rather annoy her!

Eventually she got my lead on and we went out to the car but I couldn’t be bothered to jump in. So she said, rather crossly and not altogether truthfully I expect, “Well Max, I’m going to the forest anyway whether or not you are coming with me”

So I jumped in and managed to recharge my energy levels on the way to the forest, which was very quiet when we got there. However there were lots of signs up all over the place saying
FOREST OPERATIONS

There were also warning signs with a stop sign on saying
DANGER Do not climb on timber stacks!

It was all very exciting! I was desparate for her to throw my ball up the piled up tree trunks so that I could legitimately clamber up them!

As we walked there were indeed piles of freshly sawn tree trunks at the side of the path. Some of them formed exciting looking bridges over my ditch. I could smell them too- Hilary said it was a lovely smell of the fresh cut wood, which is strange as she hates the smell of freshly cut grass!

There was a strange rumbling in the forest which Hilary told me was the forest operations at work! And, as we went up the path suddenly a big machine came out of the trees! It was a cross between a tractor and a digger I think, with a huge claw thing on the back high up in the air! On it’s back it had a whole pile of freshly sawn logs!

The vehicle waited on the path till we had gone past. The human waved at me obviously stunned by how handsome I was. Hilary was a bit scared I think as we had to edge round the machine on a narrow bit of the remaining track, so she put me on the lead. I think being attached to a big dog like me makes her feel safe and secure!

After we had gone round, the machine started to work! The big claw thing lifted all the tree trunks from the back and placed them down at the side! It was all very clever and I think Hilary would have stood and watched it for ages if I hadn’t reminded her the walk was about me!

My human friend Fay has come up with an excellent idea for when my humans go on holiday! (they are going somewhere hot and abroad called Malta very soon if you are interested)

She emailed my personal slave , oops female human tonight and suggested

I think you should let Max take Tim’s mobile to prison with him. Then you could phone Max and Tim wouldn’t be able to use it!

What an excellent idea! Tim would get real peace from phone calls and emails on his holiday, and could spend some quality time relaxing with Hilary!
True, he would pine for his phone (which is always with him and usually in his hand) and not be able to check on the cricket scores, but that would be good for him!

And I could bark to Hilary on the phone instead! I could take photos and tell the world what prison life is really like! And I could access the internet and maybe even manage to blog a bit! Wow!

What a fantastic idea Fay! It is only beffitting that a superior dog such as myself has my own mobile anyway, and I do need one of those all singing all dancing ones like Tim’s not the pathetic ancient model Hilary uses.

I am going to ask my male human about it as soon as he comes in!

Usually Tim walks me on weekdays, with Hilary being lucky enough to have a turn when she can. Today I knew I was having my proper forest walk with Tim earlier in the day and then my shorter park walk with Hilary later on.

So, when she got home from work, later than usual having been caught up with doing a report for a meeting later this week, I waited expectantly for her to change and take me out. But much to my surprise she headed straight to the kitchen and started cooking tea.

I thought for a while I had been forgotton about, or that the humans thought that having the back door open most of the afternoon so I can access the garden replaced my walk!

But it turned out Hilary was doing things back to front so that Tim could have his tea in time for a ridiculously early Vestry meeting , and, after she had cleared up, it was my turn for my walk!

It was very nice being in the park in the early evening as there were several dogs out with their humans, and several humans playing football or out for a stroll. I met one man who admired me and called me a real stunner! I played with my ball, helped Hilary take the recycling to the recycle banks, and also went to the post box with her with some letters!

I am now back home and going to enjoy some evening sun in my garden!

Tonight I was sitting by the open back door enjoying the sun and the views of my back garden, as the humans ate their tea in the kitchen, and suddenly I heard a wolf howling nearby!

So… I howled back! It was excellent, copying their wailing noises and making a brilliant howling noise!

The humans were very impressed! However they told me it wasn’t actually a wolf prowling the streets of Dunfermline, but a siren from an emergency vehicle!

It was great fun though!